Crisis

cri·sis

ˈkrīsis/

noun

1. a time of intense difficulty, trouble, or danger.

   "the current economic crisis"

   synonyms:

   emergency, disaster, catastrophe, calamity; More

   • a time when a difficult or important decision must be made.

     "a crisis point of history"

     synonyms:

     critical point, turning point, crossroads, watershed, head, moment of truth, zero hour, point of no return, Rubicon, doomsday; More

   • the turning point of a disease when an important change takes place, indicating either recovery or death.

   
   

Learning how to deal with crisis while in a family is very critical. There are so many times that with our spouses, or children, or extended family that we will need to rely upon the support one another. It is also important to learn certain boundaries between each other because one can not cope, or learn, or solve the problem if we are in their faces, or if we are not present. So it is important that we maintain a balance of helpfulness and a sense of individuality. Crisis will always come up, some bigger than others, and some scary or some that are just a little stressful, but it is important that we learn from these experiences, and try to prepare for the the unexpected, and deal with situations as they come up.

Let's Talk About Sex

Sex is one of the most common, most controversial in today's world. People in today's world either think sex is no big deal and is just some causal fun, or sex is to be waited until marriage and rarely discussed. I do believe sexual intimacy is a sacred, private topic, but at the same time so many LDS church members are unable to talk about it in a mature, adult manner because they find it awkward. Or on the other hand most people have no boundaries and share way to much personal details they shouldn't.

But what is the correct balance?

I think sex is something we need to teach younger members of the church is not something ti be embarrassed or ashamed about, but also is a personal,and sacred aspect of our life. I think it is important to teach preteens and teenagers the aspects of sex, but not in a raunchy or disrespectful way. But I think it is important to actually talk to our children about the subject and our views about it no matter how awkward it is, before they hear everything about sex from their friends, so they know how to handle certain situations regarding the subject. So pretty much all I'm saying is we need to be informative, but also treat the subject with respect.

What Happens After Marriage?

I think for many of us marriage either seems like a scary unknown concept or it is something we fantasize about, but we really have no idea how marriage. After we are dating someone, we get caught up with the physicality or the fun times we have in our relationship, but we do not necessarily understand that we will have to accommodate our life style to fit in with our spouse's previous life as well.

When people are first married, I have heard that's when most couples have the most fights, because they are getting used to actually living together, and they are not used to making decisions together. Things like money, sleeping arrangements, cleanliness, and many habits that each other have make it hard to get used too. However, I think most people are able to work out their differences and focus on the things that really matter.

I think most interesting thing I heard on the topic of marriage is that the more differences you have in life style, the more likely the marriage wont work out. So things like religion, culture, family structure, and socioeconomic status (just to name a few), are harder things to learn to except and adapt, so it is more likely the marriage will last if both spouses are similar in each of the big areas of lifestyle. 

Dating

In the society we live in today dating is pretty scarce. We do not want to commit ourselves to something that will not workout or put us in awkward situations. So when we like someone we do not ask them out on dates, we ask them to hang out, because it helps us avoid seeming like we like that person, until we know that they like us back.

However, we should not have this mindset. Dating isn't about being in a relationship. Dating is used to get to know someone better, and see if we can develop stronger feelings for that individual that we didn't know we had. After we go on dates with someone, or a few people, we can start to identify the characteristics we like in a boyfriend/girlfriend, and eventually a spouse.

After, we date and find those characteristics in an individual, and decide that we want more, we move into courtship. When we are courting we are in a more serious relationship, where we are only dating each other because we think that this relationship could be a lasting one. After learning about this, it makes me reevaluate how I date and go about relationships. We need to have more than just a physical attraction to move into courtship, and need to know the person has the same feelings about us, and they have certain qualities they like about us.

The final thing on dating, one time I was listening to an interview with a marriage therapist and her thoughts on dating and relationships, and how to gauge if the relationship will last or be successful. The lady was talking about how someone should date a multiple people in the first few months of seeing someone, that way they can see if there is another option that would suite the individual better. Then after the few months, become serious and only date each other, and make sure you still feel the same way about each other when only dating the one person. And the most profound thing I heard was that couples should be engaged between one year and a year and a half of dating. If you are able to stay together that long it should workout and be successful, but if you wait longer than that time frame, it shows that the person you are dating is afraid of commitment and it will most likely will not work out. So in essence timing is key, and getting to know someone is the most important part of dating.

Same Gender Attraction

Same gender attraction is such a sensitive and controversial  topic in today's world. Many are torn between religion, ethics, personal choice and genetics. But how do we know what is acceptable and what is not? In the LDS church we know marriage is between a man and a woman, and we need to need to preserve the traditional marriage and family. But I think this such a complex topic that we can not leave the topic that basic.

Many people argue whether being gay is genetic, or if it outside factors that causes same gender attraction. But in my opinion it doesn't really matter. Yes, we are taught that homosexual feelings should not be acted upon, but I also think God would not want any of His children to be unhappy or in so much pain from the feelings they have. I have from leaders in the church, that before some spirits came to Earth, they knew one of their trials would be having same gender attraction. So whether its personal choice, genetics, or outside factors, that cause these feelings, I think that we were born that way for a reason. And I do admire the people that can remain celibate and following the standards of the church, because their faith is so strong, but I also think it is a harder feeling than many of us do not understand, so we can not judge or blame someone for acting upon their feelings.

The Culture Around Us

Culture influences many of our thoughts, feelings, and actions. The world in which we live in has many different cultures, some that are accepted, and some that are not. But is it our place to say our culture, in the United States, is better than other cultures around the world? Or even with our culture of being apart of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, we have the tendency to think that our culture is better than other cultures. Is this the right thing to do?

In my opinion it is a 50/50 dilemma. On one hand yes, our culture in the United States is better than many others because of the freedom and privileges w have. Or even as a church, we know the Lord's plan, and we know the truth behind the gospel of Jesus Christ. However, I do not think it is right for us to say that we are better as a society, because every society has its problems, and everyone is also a children of God. So we need to focus on ourselves, and keeping the Lord commandments, and not letting the world's culture into our lives.

The world is full of so many negative things, and things that are supposed to be glamorous, or fun. But we need to be firm in out beliefs to keep the standards of our faith. So many people think marriage is unnecessary, or think families are not essential in this life, because of the things that have happened in their lives. The world wants us to believe we are better on our own, and we do not need the basic things, like a family, that our world has focused upon for so long. It is our job to maintain the culture of our church, and represent God the best we can, to show what a powerful thing families and following the Gospel of Jesus Christ can do for one another, and our societies.

Where Do I Fit In?

Family dynamics are really weird if you think about it. How come kids who are raised by the same parents and have a similar life style, often have so many different personalities and traits? Or why do people say birth order always affects someone's life?

This week in class we talked about how everyone in a family plays a certain role. Are you the trouble maker? The 2nd mom? The peacemaker? Whatever your role is, it has an affect on the rest of the family. It was somewhat hard to see what the roles my family played because we are all adults and more or less living our own lives. We all have very different lifestyles out of my four siblings and I, but I could not really peace together who has what role. But when families are living together under one roof, it is probably easier to see what roles kids will play.

In a few of my other classes I have taken besides family relations have talked about family dynamics and roles as well. Research has shown that oldest children are more likely to be very driven, and career oriented. Middle children are supposed to be the most social and out going. And youngest children are mostly to rebel. So when I thought of this I was wondering, do these statistics change when you don't have three kids? And what are the factors that play into studies like this?

In my opinion I think it is important to recognize your role, and your family member's roles in the family unit because then you can become closer. I think a lot of times people focus on themselves and what they want to be in the family, instead of understanding how to use their talents to better the family as a whole.