Dating

In the society we live in today dating is pretty scarce. We do not want to commit ourselves to something that will not workout or put us in awkward situations. So when we like someone we do not ask them out on dates, we ask them to hang out, because it helps us avoid seeming like we like that person, until we know that they like us back.

However, we should not have this mindset. Dating isn't about being in a relationship. Dating is used to get to know someone better, and see if we can develop stronger feelings for that individual that we didn't know we had. After we go on dates with someone, or a few people, we can start to identify the characteristics we like in a boyfriend/girlfriend, and eventually a spouse.

After, we date and find those characteristics in an individual, and decide that we want more, we move into courtship. When we are courting we are in a more serious relationship, where we are only dating each other because we think that this relationship could be a lasting one. After learning about this, it makes me reevaluate how I date and go about relationships. We need to have more than just a physical attraction to move into courtship, and need to know the person has the same feelings about us, and they have certain qualities they like about us.

The final thing on dating, one time I was listening to an interview with a marriage therapist and her thoughts on dating and relationships, and how to gauge if the relationship will last or be successful. The lady was talking about how someone should date a multiple people in the first few months of seeing someone, that way they can see if there is another option that would suite the individual better. Then after the few months, become serious and only date each other, and make sure you still feel the same way about each other when only dating the one person. And the most profound thing I heard was that couples should be engaged between one year and a year and a half of dating. If you are able to stay together that long it should workout and be successful, but if you wait longer than that time frame, it shows that the person you are dating is afraid of commitment and it will most likely will not work out. So in essence timing is key, and getting to know someone is the most important part of dating.